I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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