when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
