The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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