Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
