Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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