You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
