Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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