Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
