i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
