So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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