Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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