I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is wine microwaveable?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
