Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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