Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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