I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
