i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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