all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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