Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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