Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
