He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
