Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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