You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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