uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
