I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
