Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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