Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
