Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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