i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
