My nipple is on Facebook.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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