so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
