Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
