oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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