Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
