Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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