So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
