What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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