Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
