We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
