Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
