Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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