your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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