I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
