I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I met the friendliest cop last night
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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