I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
