im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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