i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
