How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Terrible idea I love it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
