Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
