can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
