No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
