I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
