i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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